Bursting Into Life (An Excerpt)

What follows is adapted from the Preface in The Supernatural Power of Seeking God, published June 27 by CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform Copyright @ 2017 by Kaila Frierson. The book is available on Amazon and Kindle.

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Summer 2010, Louisville, Kentucky

“I was in deep prayer last night, and the Holy Spirit moved upon me in an unusual manner,” the pastor said as he switched off his iPad and stepped from behind the dais. The congregation grew silent. Anticipation for what he would reveal swelled within us like a baby chick bursting into life. He took us to Matthew 6:33, a scripture I’d memorized long ago while wriggling on the front pew of my father’s church—back when I wore pink, frilly dresses and pigtails as my feet dangled high above the ground. But today, sitting in this large tabernacle, as I heard the pastor reading this well-known scripture, its words pricked me sorely.

“The Word says, ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.’” The pastor paused then continued. “God spoke to me and told me that many of us are coming here for things, but I’m wondering who here this Sunday morning just wants Him?” He looked into the faces of the audience. His eyes seemed to bore into my soul, and his words became black embers upon my heart. The gasps of the congregants filled the sanctuary, and the conversation in my mind began just as quickly. Was I guilty?

Unquestionably, I loved Christ, but deep down in the lower chambers of my heart I sensed guilt over serving God for the things He could give me. Of course, I loved Him because He is great and worthy, but when I honestly searched my heart, truth emerged: I had been seeking many things besides Him alone.

The year before I had graduated from college with a degree in English and had just recently been rejected from the sixth and final law school I’d applied to. I’d been blessed with a decent-paying telecommunications job, but my true desire was to work as an Author and Travel Journalist.

Each day that I scrunched into my incommodious cubicle at work, put on my headset and slid my phone to “Available,” I felt like I was dying a miserable, colorless death. Blinds shielded the lone window in my workroom. With each beep of my phone, I regurgitated my greeting script to customers and sank deeper into the recesses of the creativeless dungeon that held me captive. The answer was clear: seeking God for a new job and educational advancement. Guilty as charged!

As I continued to examine my heart, I thought about my love life. I’d kissed my share of frogs and had been ready for my Boaz to arrive on the scene of my life for quite some time. “Lord, when is that Boaz of mine coming, anyway?” I thought as my eyes scanned the men of the congregation. Then I caught myself. Check number two: seeking God for a husband. Guilty as charged!

Finally, I thought about my living situation. I had just moved back into the comforts and confines of my parents’ home. Now I was seeking God for independence. That was it: check number three. The verdict was clear—I was as guilty as the cookie crook with his hand stuck in the cookie jar! Cart me off to jail right now, I thought. I hurried out of the church, completely gutted and my mind racing.

Arriving home, I went to my bedroom and immediately fell to my knees. I prayed about the state of my heart and asked God to bring me to a place of complete satisfaction in Him. I wanted Him to be all I wanted, where it no longer mattered if I had $1 or $1,000,000, a husband or a pet to share my life with, friends or no friends, independence or captivity. I wanted to experience freedom in God such that I was enwrapped in Him, no longer concerned with the lack or abundance of things in my life. Only one question remained: How do I get to this place of contentment?

God whispered one word to me in that moment that became the birthing of this book: “Write.”

Get your FREE digital copy of The Supernatural Power of Seeking God! Offer expires Sunday, December 17, 2017.

5 Ways to Get Over Someone You Love

So, there’s this guy that I love that I just can’t be with. Ladies, you’ve probably been there before. Guys, you’ve probably had to let go of a special lady at some point. Perhaps she was “the one that got away.” There are some people we cross paths with in life that we can’t be with for one reason or another. Perhaps it’s bad timing and God is telling you to grow apart from the person until you can grow together. Maybe it’s a matter of focus. You can’t be with him or her right now because God needs your full-time focus on another area of your life. Sometimes God gives us a flat out no for an individual. Maybe he or she isn’t the spouse God has in mind for you. They aren’t His Plan A choice.

Getting over someone you love is never easy. It can be heart-wrenching when the heart wants to park somewhere, and God is saying, “Child, put this thing in drive. I’ve got places for you to go!” If we’re going to reach our spiritual destinies, God needs our undivided attention. This calls for us to let go of all distractions, so we can focus on our present journeys and future promised lands. Here are five Godly ways to get over someone you love.

1. Prayer – Prayer is huge in helping you get over someone. Talk to God about the way you feel and ask Him for help. Don't ignore your feelings and leave them bottled inside. God is listening. He knows what you're feeling better than you do, and He’ll help you through this difficult season with such love and grace. He will give you instructions on how to proceed. Be sure to follow all He says to the letter. What should you pray for? Pray for God to shift your focus to what He'd have you to think on and do at this time. Ask God to clear your heart, mind, emotions (soul) of anything negative. Ask Him to give you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you (Psalm 51:10). If the breakup was bad, ask God for proper perspective. Ask Him to help you forgive yourself and the other person, and to remove any unforgiveness or ill will from your heart.

2. Fasting – When you’re fasting to get over someone, you put this person on God’s altar in your heart. You can give up food, entertainment, or whatever God leads you to surrender as a symbol of your sacrifice. When you do this, God begins to perform surgery on your heart over time. He’ll remove the stony places and make them flesh again (Ezekiel 36:26). He’ll point out areas to you where you need to grow and change. (No, everything wasn’t his or her fault!) He’ll refresh, renew, and restore you. This is where your internal, spiritual healing process begins.

3. Time – They say time heals all wounds. I say God heals all wounds over time. It took time to fall in love with the person, and it will take time for your heart to move on. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need to. Don’t beat yourself up for taking too much time. Everyone is different. Also, everything is not as it seems. Some people appear to have gotten over someone in a breeze, but they could be putting on a front for others. They may look totally fine on the outside, but inside they are torn up. Don’t trust what you see on social media. People front on there for a living. LOL. Don’t compare how quick someone else moved on to how quickly you should move on. Allow your heart the time it needs to heal. Honor yourself and your heart. The time it takes to heal is not as important as how you spend the time. What you do during your healing process is key. No moping around eating bowls of Häagen-Dazs, watching sappy soap operas is allowed after five days! Ha.

4. Space – This is probably one of the biggest keys in getting over someone. It’s so much easier getting over someone when you don’t have to see or talk to them often. Put as much space as possible between you and the individual you need to forget. This allows you to properly process your feelings and get over them. In some cases, space is just not possible. Maybe you work with the person, go to church with them, or worse case scenario, have kids with them. In these cases, it’s nearly impossible to keep your distance. If this fits your situation, you won’t be able to use space; still, areas 1-3 will apply to you. Prayer and fasting will be your biggest lifelines in these cases.

5. Good Friends – There’s nothing like hanging out with good, Godly friends to help you get over someone. I’m not talking about just any type of friends. But, true friends you can keep it real with and open up to. Ones that will listen without judging, and love on you, and help you get your mind off lover boy or lover girl. One rule applies here: Don’t wear your friends out with too many stories about your ex. It will drive them crazy, and they’ll tire of you quickly! Reach out to them in this time of need and ask for help. Godly friends can give you a Godly word, and the best kind will pray, fast, and even cry with you. Ask them for prayer. Intercession will help you greatly during this time. Don’t try to go it alone if you have Godsends in your life to help. If you don’t have any Godly friends, talk to Jesus. He’s the Friend that will stick closer to you than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). He’s worth more than 10 of the greatest friends. Ask Him to send you a couple Godly friends, and wait on Him to send them. When they come, still go to Him first about everything.

What are some ways you've used to get over someone you needed to let go of? Please share below. I would love to hear what’s worked for you, and I’m sure others would as well.

In His Service,

Kaila

Receiving Your Kingdom Mind (part 2)

Another time doing the will of the Father was as satisfying as food to Jesus was when He raised Lazarus from the dead. Doing God’s will in this instance brought Jesus great comfort in the way a meal given to a grieving family would. In His own words, Jesus said that Lazarus’s sickness was going to bring Him glory (John 11:4). Four days after Lazarus died, Jesus traveled to Bethany to resurrect him. We see Jesus’s love for Lazarus when He cries at the grief of his death (John 11:35).
Shortly after Jesus arrived at Bethany, after greeting Lazarus’s loved ones, He raised Lazarus from the dead. The Word says that “then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, believed on him” (v. 45). When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, He did the will of the Father and received glory. This miracle brought the kind of comfort, joy, and celebration that a lavish meal would.

Think about it; a lot of times, Jesus wouldn't even eat natural food because He was too busy feasting on the work of the Father. Remember the time in the Word after John the Baptist died and Jesus had just found out about it and went off to be by Himself, but the crowds followed Him? The people needed help, and instead of turning them away, Jesus healed them: "Now when Jesus heard it, He withdrew from there in a boat, to a lonely place by Himself; and when the multitudes heard of this, they followed Him on foot from the cities. And when He went ashore, He saw a great multitude, and felt compassion for them, and healed their sick" (Matthew 14:13-14 NASB).

Jesus had been preaching, healing, and delivering all that day, and just wanted a moment to grieve by Himself after learning about His cousin's death. He was likely tired and hungry at this time because the Bible never tells us that He ate natural food that day. Instead of thinking of His own gut and grief, however, He healed the crowds and then miraculously fed them. If you'll look closely, you'll see that Jesus never joined in the meal Himself.

The Word says, "Then he told the people to sit down on the grass. Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, looked up toward heaven, and blessed them. Then, breaking the loaves into pieces, he gave the bread to the disciples, who distributed it to the people. They all ate as much as they wanted, and afterward, the disciples picked up twelve baskets of leftovers. About 5,000 men were fed that day, in addition to all the women and children!" (Matthew 14:20-21 NLT). Jesus was satisfied just to watch His sheep eat. We see here that doing God's will truly was His fill.

I can attest to being supernaturally nourished at times after God's used me to minister to His people. If I'm hungry before I start ministering, then the hunger will subside by the time I finish, or either I'll be so full of the Spirit when I finish that I can't naturally eat for at least a couple of hours. Doing God's work truly does fill you up. This is why when Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness, He answered the way He did.

“And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God" (Matthew 4:3-4 KJV). Jesus was essentially telling Satan that man is sustained by the very words of God, or in other words, by obeying God and doing His work. Satan was trying to get Jesus to obey his will, which would in essence have been idolatry had Jesus obliged him, but Jesus' response let Satan know that He would obey and serve God alone.

Obedience to God brings life to the spiritual body just as food does to the natural body. This is why Moses implored the Israelites when they were set to enter the promised land, "I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: That thou mayest love the Lord thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the Lord sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them" (Deuteronomy 30:19-20 KJV). Both Jesus and Moses knew that obedience to God equals spiritual life. It is our food, or source of life.

For more on how we can develop Christ’s mindset and how doing His will can become as satisfying to us as our favorite meal, stay tuned! Check out part 1 of this study here: http://www.kailacafe.com/2017/10/receiving-your-kingdom-mind-part-1.html

How to Guard Your Heart

God knows the heart of every person. He sees what we don't see. He hears what we don't hear, and He knows what we don't know. He tells us in scripture:

But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” Jeremiah 17:10 NLT

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 KJV

When it comes to matters of the heart, we’d do well to trust our Lord’s instructions about how to deal with people. God’s instructions are given to preserve and protect us. Scripture says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV). Notice the scripture instructs us to guard our own hearts. Why? Because God can give us instructions to protect us all day long, but we still play a part in our own hearts’ protection. That part is obedience. The way we guard our hearts is to follow the Holy Spirit's faintest of whispers.

When He says, "leave him alone," "don't go out with her," "cease communication with him," etc., we’d better listen if we want to avoid heartbreak. The Holy Spirit’s instructions will save us. If we don't follow His voice our hearts will be unguarded, and we'll get hurt. Our prayer every day should be, "God help me guard my heart by following the instructions You give me."

You’re beholden to only God. Don't let anyone make you feel like you need to put your heart at risk to do them a favor. It’s your right and responsibility to guard your heart by following God’s voice alone. Mama, daddy, friend, or sister can't save you when a relationship goes bad, so stop relying so heavily on the advice of others. People will sacrifice your heart to make themselves look good, but God never will. He has your best intentions at heart. Follow His voice. Whatever He says to you, do it.

Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.” John 21:22 NLT

All best,

Kaila

Why I Am Not Your Wifey

After being called wife by a complete stranger three times this week, I just had to write about it, so here it goes...

It's really bothersome how quick some men are to call a woman wife or wifey. I can't count the number of times I've been called this over the years. Some men throw the title wife around like breadcrumbs for the birds to catch. Although some men may be genuinely interested in marrying the woman they nickname "wife" or "wifey," some men do this because they think that if they act interested in marrying a woman, then she'll become easier to manipulate. They assume every woman is so desperate to get married that she'll jump at the first man to come along and show interest in marrying her.

Now, the truth is, I desire to be married, and plan to do it only once when the time comes, but here is why you calling me wife, stranger, gets downright annoying: marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. It's a covenant. You and your spouse make a vow of commitment to each other before God and man. It's not some carrot title to be seamlessly dangled in front of a woman to advance your hidden agenda. I appreciate that a guy may observe me and see characteristics he would like to have in his future wife, but until I'm married, I reserve the title wife for my future husband.

Men, please stop throwing this title around so lightly. Start to think about what you're saying and why you're saying it. If people took marriage more seriously, there would be fewer divorces. Consider what you're saying. Are you in a position spiritually, financially, and emotionally to make the woman you're admiring your wife? Can you lead? Have you found God before finding her? Or, do you have a hidden agenda to emotionally manipulate the woman you call "wifey?"

I know some men who knew the moment they met their wives that they were going to marry her. Others say they knew by at least the second date. I find this type of whirlwind romance beautiful. After all, it doesn’t take centuries to recognize that a blessing is standing before you and you need to seize the opportunity before it passes you by. I'm an advocate for love at first sight when it’s genuine and mutual, and when God has confirmed to you that a special someone is your future spouse. But, to the men who like to throw the title wife around to every woman you find attractive, please start thinking about what you're saying. Count the costs before you open your mouth. Realize that marriage is for a lifetime, not a fleeting moment of pleasure. It's bigger than a wedding, a status, and your hidden agenda. Count the costs, sir, then speak accordingly.  

“But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?  Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’" Luke 14:28-30 NLT

Signed,