Why I Am Not Your Wifey

After being called wife by a complete stranger three times this week, I just had to write about it, so here it goes...

It's really bothersome how quick some men are to call a woman wife or wifey. I can't count the number of times I've been called this over the years. Some men throw the title wife around like breadcrumbs for the birds to catch. Although some men may be genuinely interested in marrying the woman they nickname "wife" or "wifey," some men do this because they think that if they act interested in marrying a woman, then she'll become easier to manipulate. They assume every woman is so desperate to get married that she'll jump at the first man to come along and show interest in marrying her.

Now, the truth is, I desire to be married, and plan to do it only once when the time comes, but here is why you calling me wife, stranger, gets downright annoying: marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. It's a covenant. You and your spouse make a vow of commitment to each other before God and man. It's not some carrot title to be seamlessly dangled in front of a woman to advance your hidden agenda. I appreciate that a guy may observe me and see characteristics he would like to have in his future wife, but until I'm married, I reserve the title wife for my future husband.

Men, please stop throwing this title around so lightly. Start to think about what you're saying and why you're saying it. If people took marriage more seriously, there would be fewer divorces. Consider what you're saying. Are you in a position spiritually, financially, and emotionally to make the woman you're admiring your wife? Can you lead? Have you found God before finding her? Or, do you have a hidden agenda to emotionally manipulate the woman you call "wifey?"

I know some men who knew the moment they met their wives that they were going to marry her. Others say they knew by at least the second date. I find this type of whirlwind romance beautiful. After all, it doesn’t take centuries to recognize that a blessing is standing before you and you need to seize the opportunity before it passes you by. I'm an advocate for love at first sight when it’s genuine and mutual, and when God has confirmed to you that a special someone is your future spouse. But, to the men who like to throw the title wife around to every woman you find attractive, please start thinking about what you're saying. Count the costs before you open your mouth. Realize that marriage is for a lifetime, not a fleeting moment of pleasure. It's bigger than a wedding, a status, and your hidden agenda. Count the costs, sir, then speak accordingly.  

“But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it?  Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’" Luke 14:28-30 NLT

Signed,