Bursting Into Life (An Excerpt)

What follows is adapted from the Preface in The Supernatural Power of Seeking God, published June 27 by CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform Copyright @ 2017 by Kaila Frierson. The book is available on Amazon and Kindle.

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Summer 2010, Louisville, Kentucky

“I was in deep prayer last night, and the Holy Spirit moved upon me in an unusual manner,” the pastor said as he switched off his iPad and stepped from behind the dais. The congregation grew silent. Anticipation for what he would reveal swelled within us like a baby chick bursting into life. He took us to Matthew 6:33, a scripture I’d memorized long ago while wriggling on the front pew of my father’s church—back when I wore pink, frilly dresses and pigtails as my feet dangled high above the ground. But today, sitting in this large tabernacle, as I heard the pastor reading this well-known scripture, its words pricked me sorely.

“The Word says, ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.’” The pastor paused then continued. “God spoke to me and told me that many of us are coming here for things, but I’m wondering who here this Sunday morning just wants Him?” He looked into the faces of the audience. His eyes seemed to bore into my soul, and his words became black embers upon my heart. The gasps of the congregants filled the sanctuary, and the conversation in my mind began just as quickly. Was I guilty?

Unquestionably, I loved Christ, but deep down in the lower chambers of my heart I sensed guilt over serving God for the things He could give me. Of course, I loved Him because He is great and worthy, but when I honestly searched my heart, truth emerged: I had been seeking many things besides Him alone.

The year before I had graduated from college with a degree in English and had just recently been rejected from the sixth and final law school I’d applied to. I’d been blessed with a decent-paying telecommunications job, but my true desire was to work as an Author and Travel Journalist.

Each day that I scrunched into my incommodious cubicle at work, put on my headset and slid my phone to “Available,” I felt like I was dying a miserable, colorless death. Blinds shielded the lone window in my workroom. With each beep of my phone, I regurgitated my greeting script to customers and sank deeper into the recesses of the creativeless dungeon that held me captive. The answer was clear: seeking God for a new job and educational advancement. Guilty as charged!

As I continued to examine my heart, I thought about my love life. I’d kissed my share of frogs and had been ready for my Boaz to arrive on the scene of my life for quite some time. “Lord, when is that Boaz of mine coming, anyway?” I thought as my eyes scanned the men of the congregation. Then I caught myself. Check number two: seeking God for a husband. Guilty as charged!

Finally, I thought about my living situation. I had just moved back into the comforts and confines of my parents’ home. Now I was seeking God for independence. That was it: check number three. The verdict was clear—I was as guilty as the cookie crook with his hand stuck in the cookie jar! Cart me off to jail right now, I thought. I hurried out of the church, completely gutted and my mind racing.

Arriving home, I went to my bedroom and immediately fell to my knees. I prayed about the state of my heart and asked God to bring me to a place of complete satisfaction in Him. I wanted Him to be all I wanted, where it no longer mattered if I had $1 or $1,000,000, a husband or a pet to share my life with, friends or no friends, independence or captivity. I wanted to experience freedom in God such that I was enwrapped in Him, no longer concerned with the lack or abundance of things in my life. Only one question remained: How do I get to this place of contentment?

God whispered one word to me in that moment that became the birthing of this book: “Write.”

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